Thursday, March 23, 2006
I have joined the anti-internet coalition...(hypocrite alert)
I am a creature of phases. Lately I've been in an 'avoiding the internet' phase. I know that there is some underlying reason for it, but I can't consciously grasp what it is. Why don't I want to turn on my computer and open a browser to the wide world of webbiness?
Other phases I go through include:
- Drinking lots of beer ( ah, who am I kidding, this has been a life long phase)
- Drinking lots of wine, red.
- reading
- writing
- arithmetic
- movie watching
- certain foods - currently it's a Hawaian style joint near my place.
- being active
- being sedentary
- worrying about everything
- worrying about nothing
- avoiding people
- desiring new experiences
- Nature Valley Crunchy Peanut Butter Granola Bars
I could go on. My life revolves around short bursts of interests. Suddenly, something rears its bulk over the horizon, catches my attention and draws me in its wake for a moment of time.
Then there's the anti-attention phases too, the ones where I avoid certain behaviours at all costs.
"What's that? You want me to check something on the internet? Screw you!! I will not turn on my computer. I will not bow to the machinations of the industrial/scientific machine that is dictating how we derive our information and spend our minutes. Screw you, and screw everything about you and shove your computer up your..."
No, I don't feel that much vitriol towards...well, anything really. No, that's not right, on occasion I do, there is immense anger. But the anger never lasts. It's more of a phase, really, than true emotion.
S0, why don't I really want to deal with internety things? Sure, I'm on the net now, writing this, publishing in my blog, but I'm not going to check my email. I'm avoiding some other responsibilities, things that I should be doing, research I should be performing. I'm not going to do it, though.
There is no real reason, that I can think of, for me to feel this way, and yet that's what I feel. Next week I'll probably swing to the other extreme and end up spending every waking minute with my computer on, and my fingers clicking a mouse button with continuous motion, feeling assured by the pressure under the pad, feeling like I'm actually accomplishing something.
It will be nebulous, but I will be accomplishing.
And then the winds will shift, a new scent will waft through, and I will be off chasing a new phantasm, once again.
Other phases I go through include:
- Drinking lots of beer ( ah, who am I kidding, this has been a life long phase)
- Drinking lots of wine, red.
- reading
- writing
- arithmetic
- movie watching
- certain foods - currently it's a Hawaian style joint near my place.
- being active
- being sedentary
- worrying about everything
- worrying about nothing
- avoiding people
- desiring new experiences
- Nature Valley Crunchy Peanut Butter Granola Bars
I could go on. My life revolves around short bursts of interests. Suddenly, something rears its bulk over the horizon, catches my attention and draws me in its wake for a moment of time.
Then there's the anti-attention phases too, the ones where I avoid certain behaviours at all costs.
"What's that? You want me to check something on the internet? Screw you!! I will not turn on my computer. I will not bow to the machinations of the industrial/scientific machine that is dictating how we derive our information and spend our minutes. Screw you, and screw everything about you and shove your computer up your..."
No, I don't feel that much vitriol towards...well, anything really. No, that's not right, on occasion I do, there is immense anger. But the anger never lasts. It's more of a phase, really, than true emotion.
S0, why don't I really want to deal with internety things? Sure, I'm on the net now, writing this, publishing in my blog, but I'm not going to check my email. I'm avoiding some other responsibilities, things that I should be doing, research I should be performing. I'm not going to do it, though.
There is no real reason, that I can think of, for me to feel this way, and yet that's what I feel. Next week I'll probably swing to the other extreme and end up spending every waking minute with my computer on, and my fingers clicking a mouse button with continuous motion, feeling assured by the pressure under the pad, feeling like I'm actually accomplishing something.
It will be nebulous, but I will be accomplishing.
And then the winds will shift, a new scent will waft through, and I will be off chasing a new phantasm, once again.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Doctors?? We don't need no stink'n doctors...
Hey, seriously thanks for the concern, I truely do appreciate it, but...
HA!!
I have yet to go to see a doctor about my knee and it's feeling much better. It's still a little stiff, and I can feel the weakness in it compared to my other knee, but the pain is gone. It's only a matter of time until full recovery - I hope.
*C.F raises arms over his head, pumps them a few times in a display of manly victory over those with medical training and bellows, "In your face, Medical Professionals".
And, yes, I probably will regret what I just wrote. One day Fate will kick my ass, once again.
My Best Friend and Me
So, I received a call from my best bud last night. Lets call him Peter - and no that isn't a euphamism. He is pretty much my brother and our talk may have clarified my thoughts on what direction my future will take. We hadn't talked for almost a year, well before the Ex and I split.
I can read your mind. You have focused on the words 'hadn't talked for almost a year', and have tried to figure out how I can say 'best bud' with a straight face - especially since I hadn't talked to him about my divorce or even called him about it. We went to elementary school together, he was a grade below mine, but when we were in grades 6/7 we ended up in a split class together. We went to the same high-school together. We hung out with mostly the same crowd, we were sort of part of a 'gang', not really a gang but we caused some shit, and did some things that I'm really not that proud of any more, but at the same time things I needed to do. Nothing too bad, really, most really bad people would consider it petty, but we thought we were pretty bad-ass.
As an interesting sidenote, they had to split up my 7th grade class because it was so full of really fucked-up kids that we were too much of a problem for any one teacher. I'm not joking. I did not grow up in the greatest of neighbourhoods - when walking to high-school at 7 in the morning, I had the privledge of being propositioned by prostitues (who the fuck wants a hooker at 7am?), and being informed that crack was my route to salvation (who the fuck wants crack at...never mind).
Anyway, where was I...yes, 'best bud'. You see, we dont' talk for months at a time, we dont' see each other for years, but when we are together, when we do talk, there are no barriers between us. Our interests developed together and so we appreciate most of the same things.
His family was/is pretty much my surrogate family. I have immense respect for his mom and dad, and they pretty much adopted me and I spent so much time at their house that Peter's mom calls me her 'second son'.
I frick'n love these people.
He and his wife just separated at about the same time that me and my wife did. Coincidence? Synchronicity?
Peter and his soon to be ex have two kids, but he's a pretty responsible father, and he's doing the right thing. I honestly am glad that they split, I was never really that fussy about his ex, and I could always tell that they weren't exactly comfortable together, and Peter changed, as we all do, during his relationhip of 12 years. Perhaps this is one reason we didn't talk as much as we should have?
He mentions that he's rented a 4-bedroom house, so he has room for his kids. I say, 'hey, you want a roommate?'
He says, 'Absolutely!!' and proceeds to work on convincing me to move to Sarnia, Ontario (near Detroit). Sarnia, if you don't know (haha), is a pissy little industrial town, so it's not exactly a draw for me. But the thought of Peter and I becomming roommates, now that we are both bachelors again, has immense draw and potential. My fear is that I would revert back to my adolescent years. Now that's a scary thought.
We talked until past midnight, and I was so wound up that I wasn't able to get to sleep until past 2am.
I haven't commited to anything yet, but I'm really not sure how I can NOT take up this offer.
Returning to Ontario is definatly high on my list, and this open door may be just the draw I need to entice me back.
HA!!
I have yet to go to see a doctor about my knee and it's feeling much better. It's still a little stiff, and I can feel the weakness in it compared to my other knee, but the pain is gone. It's only a matter of time until full recovery - I hope.
*C.F raises arms over his head, pumps them a few times in a display of manly victory over those with medical training and bellows, "In your face, Medical Professionals".
And, yes, I probably will regret what I just wrote. One day Fate will kick my ass, once again.
My Best Friend and Me
So, I received a call from my best bud last night. Lets call him Peter - and no that isn't a euphamism. He is pretty much my brother and our talk may have clarified my thoughts on what direction my future will take. We hadn't talked for almost a year, well before the Ex and I split.
I can read your mind. You have focused on the words 'hadn't talked for almost a year', and have tried to figure out how I can say 'best bud' with a straight face - especially since I hadn't talked to him about my divorce or even called him about it. We went to elementary school together, he was a grade below mine, but when we were in grades 6/7 we ended up in a split class together. We went to the same high-school together. We hung out with mostly the same crowd, we were sort of part of a 'gang', not really a gang but we caused some shit, and did some things that I'm really not that proud of any more, but at the same time things I needed to do. Nothing too bad, really, most really bad people would consider it petty, but we thought we were pretty bad-ass.
As an interesting sidenote, they had to split up my 7th grade class because it was so full of really fucked-up kids that we were too much of a problem for any one teacher. I'm not joking. I did not grow up in the greatest of neighbourhoods - when walking to high-school at 7 in the morning, I had the privledge of being propositioned by prostitues (who the fuck wants a hooker at 7am?), and being informed that crack was my route to salvation (who the fuck wants crack at...never mind).
Anyway, where was I...yes, 'best bud'. You see, we dont' talk for months at a time, we dont' see each other for years, but when we are together, when we do talk, there are no barriers between us. Our interests developed together and so we appreciate most of the same things.
His family was/is pretty much my surrogate family. I have immense respect for his mom and dad, and they pretty much adopted me and I spent so much time at their house that Peter's mom calls me her 'second son'.
I frick'n love these people.
He and his wife just separated at about the same time that me and my wife did. Coincidence? Synchronicity?
Peter and his soon to be ex have two kids, but he's a pretty responsible father, and he's doing the right thing. I honestly am glad that they split, I was never really that fussy about his ex, and I could always tell that they weren't exactly comfortable together, and Peter changed, as we all do, during his relationhip of 12 years. Perhaps this is one reason we didn't talk as much as we should have?
He mentions that he's rented a 4-bedroom house, so he has room for his kids. I say, 'hey, you want a roommate?'
He says, 'Absolutely!!' and proceeds to work on convincing me to move to Sarnia, Ontario (near Detroit). Sarnia, if you don't know (haha), is a pissy little industrial town, so it's not exactly a draw for me. But the thought of Peter and I becomming roommates, now that we are both bachelors again, has immense draw and potential. My fear is that I would revert back to my adolescent years. Now that's a scary thought.
We talked until past midnight, and I was so wound up that I wasn't able to get to sleep until past 2am.
I haven't commited to anything yet, but I'm really not sure how I can NOT take up this offer.
Returning to Ontario is definatly high on my list, and this open door may be just the draw I need to entice me back.
Friday, March 17, 2006
Owwey, Owwww, Ow, Ow...
Well, my string of posting daily came to a crashing end this week, but I have a good excuse - pain.
I did something horrible and, quite probably, stupid to my knee, and it's still not right. I think I mentioned previously that I recently joined a gym, and have been feeling good about the exercise. Well, this Tuesday, after work, I worked on my lower body, and then went for a quick run afterwards, before hooking up with some friends for a couple of beers. After showering, dressing, and heading for my Jeep, my leg started to throb.
"Something's wrong!" I thought. Alas, I'm a guy, and something being wrong wasn't going to stop me from meeting up with people for beer. So I strode boldly to my vehicle, and made my way to the drinking hole.
A couple of hours later ( dont' worry, I only had 2 beers) I stood up and realized, "Something's very wrong!!!"
Standing at the bar to pay my tab I almost passed out.
By the time I 'walked' the 50 yards through the bar, and through the parking lot to my car (trying to act like nothing was wrong so nobody would look at me funny), I was in excruciating pain. I managed to open the door and somehow maneuvered myself into the drivers seat before actually passing out.
It went something like this:
***Fuuuzzzzzz*****(thoughtpopsintomyhead) Im feeling nautious********(streamoffuzzytvstatic)Imfeelingdizzy*****fuuuuuzuzuzuzuzuz*****thoughts aboutbeerandwomenpassthroughmymind******bzzzzzz*****OHI'MGOINGTOPASSOUT......
I dont' know how long I was out for, all I knew was that I was still in a lot of pain when I came to.
I was still pretty out of it, but the only thought, other than how much pain I was in, was to get myself back home so I could pop one of my Percacets (sp?). It's actually oxy-contin, but why split hairs? Sure, I could have called a friend, or a taxi or something, but no, I'm man, I was in pain, and the only thing that I wanted to do was go home and collapse into bed. (It was about 6pm at this time).
I drove home with the window open. I took it slow. I was sweating from the pain.
I managed to crawl into my apartment. I gathered everything that I would need for the next 48 hours; phone, books, cd's, drugs, bottle of water, a box of Nature Valley Peanut Butter Oat Bars and my favorite hockey skate. I piled food into the cats dishes, made sure they had water. I went to the bathroom and made sure I was fully relieved. I slithered my way into bed, called work letting them know there was no way in hell that I would be in the next day (I actually used the words 'I fucked up my knee').
The drugs didn't help much, I was still in excrutiating pain. I tried to find a position that would allow me some relief, but no matter how I lay the pain was intense. I was - and yes, even though I'm a man, I will admit this - almost in tears at several points during the night.
Luckily I managed to get a few hours of fitful sleep, and felt a little better the next morning. I also managed to - and yes I admit this even though I am a man - get a few chapters of 'The Red Tent' under my belt. It's a pretty good book so far, I just hope somethign exciting happens soon - not that childbirth isn't exciting, I just want a raid by bandits or a roving band of mercinaries to tear through the neighbourhood or something.
My knee still isn't right, I can walk and move, but I move very slowly. It still hurts at night laying in bed, and it's hard to find a position that allows relief.
I've decided not to do any leg exercises for a little while.
I did something horrible and, quite probably, stupid to my knee, and it's still not right. I think I mentioned previously that I recently joined a gym, and have been feeling good about the exercise. Well, this Tuesday, after work, I worked on my lower body, and then went for a quick run afterwards, before hooking up with some friends for a couple of beers. After showering, dressing, and heading for my Jeep, my leg started to throb.
"Something's wrong!" I thought. Alas, I'm a guy, and something being wrong wasn't going to stop me from meeting up with people for beer. So I strode boldly to my vehicle, and made my way to the drinking hole.
A couple of hours later ( dont' worry, I only had 2 beers) I stood up and realized, "Something's very wrong!!!"
Standing at the bar to pay my tab I almost passed out.
By the time I 'walked' the 50 yards through the bar, and through the parking lot to my car (trying to act like nothing was wrong so nobody would look at me funny), I was in excruciating pain. I managed to open the door and somehow maneuvered myself into the drivers seat before actually passing out.
It went something like this:
***Fuuuzzzzzz*****(thoughtpopsintomyhead) Im feeling nautious********(streamoffuzzytvstatic)Imfeelingdizzy*****fuuuuuzuzuzuzuzuz*****thoughts aboutbeerandwomenpassthroughmymind******bzzzzzz*****OHI'MGOINGTOPASSOUT......
I dont' know how long I was out for, all I knew was that I was still in a lot of pain when I came to.
I was still pretty out of it, but the only thought, other than how much pain I was in, was to get myself back home so I could pop one of my Percacets (sp?). It's actually oxy-contin, but why split hairs? Sure, I could have called a friend, or a taxi or something, but no, I'm man, I was in pain, and the only thing that I wanted to do was go home and collapse into bed. (It was about 6pm at this time).
I drove home with the window open. I took it slow. I was sweating from the pain.
I managed to crawl into my apartment. I gathered everything that I would need for the next 48 hours; phone, books, cd's, drugs, bottle of water, a box of Nature Valley Peanut Butter Oat Bars and my favorite hockey skate. I piled food into the cats dishes, made sure they had water. I went to the bathroom and made sure I was fully relieved. I slithered my way into bed, called work letting them know there was no way in hell that I would be in the next day (I actually used the words 'I fucked up my knee').
The drugs didn't help much, I was still in excrutiating pain. I tried to find a position that would allow me some relief, but no matter how I lay the pain was intense. I was - and yes, even though I'm a man, I will admit this - almost in tears at several points during the night.
Luckily I managed to get a few hours of fitful sleep, and felt a little better the next morning. I also managed to - and yes I admit this even though I am a man - get a few chapters of 'The Red Tent' under my belt. It's a pretty good book so far, I just hope somethign exciting happens soon - not that childbirth isn't exciting, I just want a raid by bandits or a roving band of mercinaries to tear through the neighbourhood or something.
My knee still isn't right, I can walk and move, but I move very slowly. It still hurts at night laying in bed, and it's hard to find a position that allows relief.
I've decided not to do any leg exercises for a little while.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Hell's Half-Acres
I have actually been to 'Hell's Half-Acres'. It is located in Kirkwall, Orkney Island, Scotland. The Orkneys are islands off the north coast of Scotland. They claim a Viking heratige, more so than Celtic, and it's an amazing place to visit. Amazing archaeological sites, including Skara Brae and Maeshowe.
There are so many more sites worty of mentioning and visiting, but I won't do so here. I plan on making it back at some point. I recommend it very highly.
So, yes, I've been to Hell's Half-Acres, and quite honestly I was expecting a little more. It's pretty much a small industrial park, nothing truely interesting, but I had to see it. I had to go, because now I can say that i've been there - I have been to Hell's Half-Acres, I survived, and I have returned to tell the tale. Perhaps the fact that it is an industrial park tells us something - it gives us a slight glimpse into the psyche of the devil, after all.
I wish I had been a little Bairn in Scotland. I wish that I had been granted that opportunity. If I could have chosen any other country to have been born in, it would have been the Highlands of Scotland. The Highlands run through my blood.
God, I want to go back.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
A Walk On the Non-Wild Side
Hooker Update:
Nothing to report. I still haven't had time to dedicate a chunk of time to cruising the streets
looking for "Ladies-of-the-Night", but the question is burning inside of me, and I need an answer. Results WILL be forthcomming.
Super-Happy-Fun Week:
Well, the week is over, and although my efforts started to diminish towards the end, I feel that the week was, overall, a success. Through moments of depressed feelings which were quickly overcome, I remained positive throughout the week and feel that the positive results of the previous week were built upon. Don't worry, though, as Super-Happy-Fun Week will continue on in spirit, and, perhaps, be revisited in the future.
The Day:
Although the day is still young it has already presented me with 'food for thought'. I went to bed early last night, as I've recently joined a gym (It's pretty much across the street from my apartment, takes me about 20 seconds door-to-door, so how could I not join?), and after an intense workout I was feeling achy and tired.
Woke up this morning feeling refreshed, but still a little achy, especially in the small of my back. I decided to go for a walk, loosen up my muscles and explore areas a little south of my apartment.
Man, it was/is a beautiful day - the type of day that only Oregon can produce. Tufts of cloud spotting the turqoise sky, while the sun performed with brilliant reserve, allowing the day to remain cool while illuminating the environs to maximum potential. The air was chill - perfect - and tingled the skin with a slight tickle, letting you know that you are nothing but alive.
As I've mentioned elsewhere, I love the scenery here. When Whoeveritwas that made this part of the world planned it, they must have been ON that day.
"Hey, Whoeveritwas, how's the NorthWest coming?"
"Awsome! I've just invented 'mountains', and I'm about to throw in some rivers. I think I'm going to go with conifers here, since the idiots out East have focused on deciduous trees. Fools!"
"Don't forget about Bigfoot. You know this is where the Almighty wants him."
"Right, right, no problem. There will be plenty of room for him to roam and stay away from the unbelievers."
I live towards the south end of town, an area that tends to be hilly - more so than other parts of the valley. Walking up a few of these hills presented me with new vistas to admire - and man, was it beautiful! I had planned for it to be a relatively quick walk - maybe 15 minutes - but I ended up being out for a little over an hour.
Days like this make me think that I am 'home'. Geographically and environmentally this is the type of area that I've always longed to live in; rugged and beautiful - challenging and dynamic. I could spend my life just walking around, viewing and witnessing the beauty surrounding me.
Most of my favorite authours - Ursula LeGuin, Douglas Coupland, Raymond Carver to name a few- hail from the NW.
Days like today make me question why I would want to move elsewhere. This is both comforting, and terribly unsettling.
Nothing to report. I still haven't had time to dedicate a chunk of time to cruising the streets
looking for "Ladies-of-the-Night", but the question is burning inside of me, and I need an answer. Results WILL be forthcomming.
Super-Happy-Fun Week:
Well, the week is over, and although my efforts started to diminish towards the end, I feel that the week was, overall, a success. Through moments of depressed feelings which were quickly overcome, I remained positive throughout the week and feel that the positive results of the previous week were built upon. Don't worry, though, as Super-Happy-Fun Week will continue on in spirit, and, perhaps, be revisited in the future.
The Day:
Although the day is still young it has already presented me with 'food for thought'. I went to bed early last night, as I've recently joined a gym (It's pretty much across the street from my apartment, takes me about 20 seconds door-to-door, so how could I not join?), and after an intense workout I was feeling achy and tired.
Woke up this morning feeling refreshed, but still a little achy, especially in the small of my back. I decided to go for a walk, loosen up my muscles and explore areas a little south of my apartment.
Man, it was/is a beautiful day - the type of day that only Oregon can produce. Tufts of cloud spotting the turqoise sky, while the sun performed with brilliant reserve, allowing the day to remain cool while illuminating the environs to maximum potential. The air was chill - perfect - and tingled the skin with a slight tickle, letting you know that you are nothing but alive.
As I've mentioned elsewhere, I love the scenery here. When Whoeveritwas that made this part of the world planned it, they must have been ON that day.
"Hey, Whoeveritwas, how's the NorthWest coming?"
"Awsome! I've just invented 'mountains', and I'm about to throw in some rivers. I think I'm going to go with conifers here, since the idiots out East have focused on deciduous trees. Fools!"
"Don't forget about Bigfoot. You know this is where the Almighty wants him."
"Right, right, no problem. There will be plenty of room for him to roam and stay away from the unbelievers."
I live towards the south end of town, an area that tends to be hilly - more so than other parts of the valley. Walking up a few of these hills presented me with new vistas to admire - and man, was it beautiful! I had planned for it to be a relatively quick walk - maybe 15 minutes - but I ended up being out for a little over an hour.
Days like this make me think that I am 'home'. Geographically and environmentally this is the type of area that I've always longed to live in; rugged and beautiful - challenging and dynamic. I could spend my life just walking around, viewing and witnessing the beauty surrounding me.
Most of my favorite authours - Ursula LeGuin, Douglas Coupland, Raymond Carver to name a few- hail from the NW.
Days like today make me question why I would want to move elsewhere. This is both comforting, and terribly unsettling.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Hookers? Where are the hookers?
A tough day for Super-Happy-Fun Week. Unfortunately I didn't get to search for prostitutes last night, and so I am still fully unaware as to where in this town they are located. Unfortunately I had to run up to Salem for a little while, and didn't have the opportunity to explore when I returned. I will have to do my research some time this weekend, though, as I need closure on this issue.
I've thought about asking people where the hookers are, but I figured that might lead to uncomfortable situations:
Me: Hey, X. Do you know where I can find prostitutes in Eugene?
X: What?
Me: You know, hookers.
X: Why do you want to know about hookers?
Me: Ummm...research?
X: Research? For what?
Me: Uhh...my blog?
X: Ya, right. Get away from me you hooker-propositioning, blog-writing perv.
Too many questions to lead to too many things I don't want people to know about. Damn, I'm way to secretive.
I've thought about asking people where the hookers are, but I figured that might lead to uncomfortable situations:
Me: Hey, X. Do you know where I can find prostitutes in Eugene?
X: What?
Me: You know, hookers.
X: Why do you want to know about hookers?
Me: Ummm...research?
X: Research? For what?
Me: Uhh...my blog?
X: Ya, right. Get away from me you hooker-propositioning, blog-writing perv.
Too many questions to lead to too many things I don't want people to know about. Damn, I'm way to secretive.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Day 3: A Rousing Success!!
The goal for today was to actively seek out opportunities to be helpful in my community. Since I had to work during much of the day, I was left with part of the afternoon and the evening within which to perform my heroic deeds.
I used my time at work to contemplate and consider what it was that I should do...
I discovered that there was a new volunteer meeting for an organization known as 'Nearby Nature' - they develop and present environmental based programming for school children - so I figured I would attend.
There - actively seeking out ways in which to help my community.
Well, the meeting was pretty boring and it really didn't make me feel 'active' in the least. My need to help was not satiated. Half-way through the meeting I started to consider other options. The day was running out and I began to feel desperate. What would it mean for Super-Happy-Fun Week if I wasn't able to complete a task with adequate results? Would this be the end?
Luckily I'm a pull-my-ass-out-of-the-fire-at-the-last-minute type of guy. I came up with a brilliant plan - dare I say genious - on how I could actively assist my community.
Vigilante Justice!
After the meeting I rushed home to retrive my bat, Super Happy Fun Ball and my most fierce cat, and we saddled up in my Jeep and headed out on the mean streets of Eugene. This was to be no easy task since, as I previously mentioned, Eugene is a relatively safe community. Sure, we have our share of chomper-challenged meth heads, and random acts of stupidity, but finding crime was sure to be a challenge.
I thought this over; where in Eugene would be the best place to patrol for potential crime?
"What is it that criminals want," I asked?
"What everyone else wants," I answered. "Love and understanding - plus lots of cool electronics to show off to their friends."
Super Happy Fun Ball agreed.
"Where would criminals go to get lots of cool electronics to show off to their friends," I contemplated?
"Where the rich people live," we all screamed together, and with that we headed to the south end of town, or South Hills, to cruise around looking for crime.
We soon made it to our targeted area, and proceeded to slowly cruise the streets, keeping a keen eye out for any signs of crime. Spirits remained high as we completed circuit after circuit through these beautifully tree lined avenues and well kept abodes. The rain had stopped and so many of this areas finest were out walking, savoring the short respite from the relentless NW winter.
The sun started to dip dangerously close to the horizon, and I suddenly became concerned for the welfare of my fellow Eugenians- the approach of nighttime is sure to be a fearful event for these fine folks and all of their fine electronics. I decided to cheer them up.
I rolled down the window, waved my bat around outside of the jeep to show the people that I was armed and that they could feel safe and yelled words of comfort to everyone I passed:
"I've got your back!!"
"I'm watching you!!"
"Your fine electronics will be safe with me!!"
"Don't worry, I've got a bat and I enjoy hitting things with it!"
I could tell by the reaction of the people - the jaunty quickening of their pace, and the slight widening of their eyes - that these people felt safe and appreciated the service that I was offering.
"I'm keeping my eye on you!!" I waved the bat around outside of the window with even more force than before.
Analysis:
Even though I didn't stop any actual crime there is the possibility that my actions prevented potential crime from happening. I'm sure that word got around that I was patrolling the neighbourhood, and criminals would have been fearful about perpetrating unlawful events. For this I feel good!! I actively participated in keeping a part of my community safe. I got myself out and about, and I feel good - warm and fuzzy - about the reactions I received from greatful citizens.
Overall I think this has been the best Super-Happy-Fun Week day yet!!! I actually plan to continue my vigilante missions and will extend my services into other areas of town. I think I may have a new hobby.
Day 4:
For day 4 I've decided to explore my community in an attempt to understand it better. Understanding can only bring me closer to truely appreciating this hippy-infested, sychronicity suck hole.
I've decided to really focus my attention on one aspect of the Eugene community of which I am, at this time, fully unaware...
...Hookers.
Since I've lived here I don't believe that I've seen one hooker. How can that be? Every city has hookers. Where are Eugenes'?
So, for day 4 I will once again hit the streets, but this time on a mission of discovery: Where Are the Hookers?
Wish me luck.
I used my time at work to contemplate and consider what it was that I should do...
I discovered that there was a new volunteer meeting for an organization known as 'Nearby Nature' - they develop and present environmental based programming for school children - so I figured I would attend.
There - actively seeking out ways in which to help my community.
Well, the meeting was pretty boring and it really didn't make me feel 'active' in the least. My need to help was not satiated. Half-way through the meeting I started to consider other options. The day was running out and I began to feel desperate. What would it mean for Super-Happy-Fun Week if I wasn't able to complete a task with adequate results? Would this be the end?
Luckily I'm a pull-my-ass-out-of-the-fire-at-the-last-minute type of guy. I came up with a brilliant plan - dare I say genious - on how I could actively assist my community.
Vigilante Justice!
After the meeting I rushed home to retrive my bat, Super Happy Fun Ball and my most fierce cat, and we saddled up in my Jeep and headed out on the mean streets of Eugene. This was to be no easy task since, as I previously mentioned, Eugene is a relatively safe community. Sure, we have our share of chomper-challenged meth heads, and random acts of stupidity, but finding crime was sure to be a challenge.
I thought this over; where in Eugene would be the best place to patrol for potential crime?
"What is it that criminals want," I asked?
"What everyone else wants," I answered. "Love and understanding - plus lots of cool electronics to show off to their friends."
Super Happy Fun Ball agreed.
"Where would criminals go to get lots of cool electronics to show off to their friends," I contemplated?
"Where the rich people live," we all screamed together, and with that we headed to the south end of town, or South Hills, to cruise around looking for crime.
We soon made it to our targeted area, and proceeded to slowly cruise the streets, keeping a keen eye out for any signs of crime. Spirits remained high as we completed circuit after circuit through these beautifully tree lined avenues and well kept abodes. The rain had stopped and so many of this areas finest were out walking, savoring the short respite from the relentless NW winter.
The sun started to dip dangerously close to the horizon, and I suddenly became concerned for the welfare of my fellow Eugenians- the approach of nighttime is sure to be a fearful event for these fine folks and all of their fine electronics. I decided to cheer them up.
I rolled down the window, waved my bat around outside of the jeep to show the people that I was armed and that they could feel safe and yelled words of comfort to everyone I passed:
"I've got your back!!"
"I'm watching you!!"
"Your fine electronics will be safe with me!!"
"Don't worry, I've got a bat and I enjoy hitting things with it!"
I could tell by the reaction of the people - the jaunty quickening of their pace, and the slight widening of their eyes - that these people felt safe and appreciated the service that I was offering.
"I'm keeping my eye on you!!" I waved the bat around outside of the window with even more force than before.
Analysis:
Even though I didn't stop any actual crime there is the possibility that my actions prevented potential crime from happening. I'm sure that word got around that I was patrolling the neighbourhood, and criminals would have been fearful about perpetrating unlawful events. For this I feel good!! I actively participated in keeping a part of my community safe. I got myself out and about, and I feel good - warm and fuzzy - about the reactions I received from greatful citizens.
Overall I think this has been the best Super-Happy-Fun Week day yet!!! I actually plan to continue my vigilante missions and will extend my services into other areas of town. I think I may have a new hobby.
Day 4:
For day 4 I've decided to explore my community in an attempt to understand it better. Understanding can only bring me closer to truely appreciating this hippy-infested, sychronicity suck hole.
I've decided to really focus my attention on one aspect of the Eugene community of which I am, at this time, fully unaware...
...Hookers.
Since I've lived here I don't believe that I've seen one hooker. How can that be? Every city has hookers. Where are Eugenes'?
So, for day 4 I will once again hit the streets, but this time on a mission of discovery: Where Are the Hookers?
Wish me luck.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Day 3 Preview
I'm going to add a twist to day three of SHF Week (I'm tired of typing it all out). Instead of just looking, passively, for something helpful to do, I plan on actively pursuing a positive, giving bent tommorow. I'm not exactly sure at this time what that will entail, and since I've come up with this idea at a rather late point in time, I'm sure that my options will be limited. But, I bet that I can come up with something that will enable me to assist my community in a SHF way!
I feel good things about tommorow...I really do...
I feel good things about tommorow...I really do...
Super-Happy-Fun Week: Day 2 Analysis
My list of postive things about Eugene:
1. A high concentration of really, really, really strange people.
2. Postal workers are ex-hippies...well actually still hippies just older.
3. Beautiful, beautiful scenery. Seriously. Just walk outside and see green hills, and a strong line of ridges and mountainous territory.
4. Great for outdoor activity, lots of trails, people are very into biking - as long as you're OK with rain, which I am.
5. Decent small-business vibe.
6. Decent music scene for the size of the community.
7. Rivers run through it.
8. Low crime rate.
9. If someone pee's on the street, the rain will soon wash it away.
10. It's not located in the deep south.
So, I stretched a little to make ten reasons, but I think they are still all worthy. Onward and upward as always!!
1. A high concentration of really, really, really strange people.
2. Postal workers are ex-hippies...well actually still hippies just older.
3. Beautiful, beautiful scenery. Seriously. Just walk outside and see green hills, and a strong line of ridges and mountainous territory.
4. Great for outdoor activity, lots of trails, people are very into biking - as long as you're OK with rain, which I am.
5. Decent small-business vibe.
6. Decent music scene for the size of the community.
7. Rivers run through it.
8. Low crime rate.
9. If someone pee's on the street, the rain will soon wash it away.
10. It's not located in the deep south.
So, I stretched a little to make ten reasons, but I think they are still all worthy. Onward and upward as always!!
Monday, March 06, 2006
Super-Happy-Fun Week: Day 1 Analysis
Day one is in the record book - lets take a look at how it unfolded:
The day started out OK, I was keeping my eyes well peeled for situations in which to be helpful, but they were few and far between. Around midday I had to lead a tour for a group of Special adults - which ended up being two - and I became uncontrollably meloncholy.
These people were great - I met Becky and Robert - but although I had great fun showing them around and interacting with them, the event made me unfortunately introspective and...this is very hard to admit during Super-Happy-Fun Week...a little sad. I don't really want to go into details right now, perhaps I'll approach this subject after Super-Happy-Fun week, but we'll see.
Even though, I will claim the entire tour and meeting these two special people a huge success for the Super-Happy-Fun Week annals!! Becky even gave me a hug after the tour - she was so sweet.
Other highlights from day 1 include giving one of my Natural Valley Peanut Butter Oat bars to a co-worker who was very hungry, and removing a stray human hair that had become entangled around a crickets' leg.
Just for the purposes of momentum, me and Super Happy Fun Ball have decided to chalk Day 1 up as a rousing success!!
Day 2
Since I have to be up and out early tommorow, I will post the expectations for Day 2 now. On day 2 the plan is to continue looking out for ways to be helpfull and be attentive to the needs of others.
I will also spend the day contemplating a list of things about Eugene for which I am greatful and happy about. I've decided to do this due to the fact that I mostly slag-off about Eugene, but in the spirit of the week I will maintain my positive outlook - and because I haven't come up with any other ideas yet.
I will post the list later in the day.
Super Happy Fun Ball and I bid you a fair night.
The day started out OK, I was keeping my eyes well peeled for situations in which to be helpful, but they were few and far between. Around midday I had to lead a tour for a group of Special adults - which ended up being two - and I became uncontrollably meloncholy.
These people were great - I met Becky and Robert - but although I had great fun showing them around and interacting with them, the event made me unfortunately introspective and...this is very hard to admit during Super-Happy-Fun Week...a little sad. I don't really want to go into details right now, perhaps I'll approach this subject after Super-Happy-Fun week, but we'll see.
Even though, I will claim the entire tour and meeting these two special people a huge success for the Super-Happy-Fun Week annals!! Becky even gave me a hug after the tour - she was so sweet.
Other highlights from day 1 include giving one of my Natural Valley Peanut Butter Oat bars to a co-worker who was very hungry, and removing a stray human hair that had become entangled around a crickets' leg.
Just for the purposes of momentum, me and Super Happy Fun Ball have decided to chalk Day 1 up as a rousing success!!
Day 2
Since I have to be up and out early tommorow, I will post the expectations for Day 2 now. On day 2 the plan is to continue looking out for ways to be helpfull and be attentive to the needs of others.
I will also spend the day contemplating a list of things about Eugene for which I am greatful and happy about. I've decided to do this due to the fact that I mostly slag-off about Eugene, but in the spirit of the week I will maintain my positive outlook - and because I haven't come up with any other ideas yet.
I will post the list later in the day.
Super Happy Fun Ball and I bid you a fair night.
Day 1: The Plan
Super Happy Fun Ball (I've decided to keep him on as mascot) and I sat down to discuss the plan. We decided that it was foolhardy to enter this week without some sort of direction. Here's what we came up with:
1. Super-Happy-Fun Week is about spontenaity
2. Things that promote super-happy-funness should be accomplished.
3. All moods not associated with super-happy-funess should be avoided.
4. Simplicity is key!
After pause for thought on our list of rules, I decided that consulting with Super Happy Fun Ball may not be the best way to get things done. Instead, I will figure out what the rules are myself.
Today's plan is to be helpful to others. For example, if I see somebody struggling with something heavy, I will offer to help. If someone appears lost, I will offer directions. If a pretty girl appears to need a kiss, then she will be kissed!!
I will, in theory, report in with the results this evening.
1. Super-Happy-Fun Week is about spontenaity
2. Things that promote super-happy-funness should be accomplished.
3. All moods not associated with super-happy-funess should be avoided.
4. Simplicity is key!
After pause for thought on our list of rules, I decided that consulting with Super Happy Fun Ball may not be the best way to get things done. Instead, I will figure out what the rules are myself.
Today's plan is to be helpful to others. For example, if I see somebody struggling with something heavy, I will offer to help. If someone appears lost, I will offer directions. If a pretty girl appears to need a kiss, then she will be kissed!!
I will, in theory, report in with the results this evening.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Super-Happy-Fun Week
Today I made a decision!!
Hey, wait, arn't the Oscar's on right now? Oh, well.
Anyway, I decided to proclaim that this week is, officially, Super-Happy-Fun Week!!!
During this past week I feel that I've turned something of a corner in my life. I've discovered something called 'focus' - a creature very elusive and formerly thought of as 'myth'. Surprisingly, though, the whole week has been spent with 'Focus' and so now I am a believer. For most of this past week I've been quite happy, I've been feeling super, and I've been having fun. Yes, you guessed it, from this experience I've come up with a special week-long event - Super-Happy-Fun Week.
OK, I admit, I may have to change the name, but I'm going with it for now.
What does this exciting new event entail?
It's pretty simple, really, and a work in progress but the basic premise is to: Spread love and joy throughout the world and bring about world peace. I know it's pretty slim, but I'm lazy.
(Interesting side note: I just discovered that there is a web site www.superhappyfun.com. Competition!!)
My goal for Super-Happy-Fun Week is to continue my mood and focus of the past week, and keep building upon that. To that end, as far as Zero Readership is concerned, it means that I will seek out the positive in the community around me, and only post that, here. So far Zero Readership has been mostly about me downloading my more negative issues, but I feel a slight change in direction is in order - therefor the new, astounding, world-shaking celebration.
"What's that image at the top," you may be asking? It is the "Super Happy Fun Ball". I'm considering using it as the official mascot.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Tubs of Hot, Frothy Liquid
Apparently I have a serious issue - lots actually - but more specifically I've discovered how much my body relies upon caffeine to get it through the day. I drink several cups of tea pretty much every day, and use coffee as a suppliment ever few days or so. I recently discovered that successive days of coffee drinking usually leads to sleepless nights, but if I drink it one day, and then lay off of it for a day or two, I'm fine. Tea doesn't appear to have any effect on my sleeping pattern.
I like waking up with caffeine - making a mug of something hot is usually first on my daily agenda. Today was a rare day. I somehow forgot to make a cafeinated beverage of any kind.
The effects were devastating.
Somehow I managed to get myself outside and moving, but in reality I probably should have just stayed home. Unfortunately I had some business to attend to and so I had to make the effort at least. Quite frankly, I'm embarrassed by myself today. People could tell something was wrong. Here's an example of a typical conversation that occured between people who passed by me today:
****
"Holy geez. Hey dude. Come here, and check this out."
"What?"
Whispers, "Look at this guy."
Squints eyes. "Is he dead?"
"I dunno. You think?"
"Well he's not moving, but he is standing. I don't think dead people can stand."
"You're probably right. But, I don't think he's even breathing."
"Shit, it doesn't look like he is." A momentary pause. "I'm gonna poke him."
"What? You're kidding right? That's gross."
"Why's it gross?"
"Well, if he is dead, you don't want to go around poking dead bodies do you?"
Picks up a stick laying nearby. "I'll poke him with this."
"Oh, good idea."
Moves forward with stick held out ready for poking.
"Wait!"
"What?"
"I just saw him move. I think one of his eyelids fluttered. Yes, there it goes again."
"Damn, you're right. OK, he's not dead, but what the hell's wrong with him?"
"He musn't have had any caffeine this morning."
****
It was a long day.
I like waking up with caffeine - making a mug of something hot is usually first on my daily agenda. Today was a rare day. I somehow forgot to make a cafeinated beverage of any kind.
The effects were devastating.
Somehow I managed to get myself outside and moving, but in reality I probably should have just stayed home. Unfortunately I had some business to attend to and so I had to make the effort at least. Quite frankly, I'm embarrassed by myself today. People could tell something was wrong. Here's an example of a typical conversation that occured between people who passed by me today:
****
"Holy geez. Hey dude. Come here, and check this out."
"What?"
Whispers, "Look at this guy."
Squints eyes. "Is he dead?"
"I dunno. You think?"
"Well he's not moving, but he is standing. I don't think dead people can stand."
"You're probably right. But, I don't think he's even breathing."
"Shit, it doesn't look like he is." A momentary pause. "I'm gonna poke him."
"What? You're kidding right? That's gross."
"Why's it gross?"
"Well, if he is dead, you don't want to go around poking dead bodies do you?"
Picks up a stick laying nearby. "I'll poke him with this."
"Oh, good idea."
Moves forward with stick held out ready for poking.
"Wait!"
"What?"
"I just saw him move. I think one of his eyelids fluttered. Yes, there it goes again."
"Damn, you're right. OK, he's not dead, but what the hell's wrong with him?"
"He musn't have had any caffeine this morning."
****
It was a long day.
Synchronicity II
Yesterday I explored some areas of town that I hadn't yet checked out. I decided to go to Alton Baker park - which is where Autzen Stadium is and where the UO Ducks play, but since I don't care about football I'm really not sure why I'm bothering explaining this....
i went for a really long walk along the trails that follow along the Willamette River - which runs through the city, right past the downtown area and beyond. It was almost - very close - to a perfect day out. The temperture was just how I like it; the air was crisp with a slight chill to it so that if you were standing still you could feel it, but if you were moving and working your body then it didn't bother you. There was a slight breeze. The only negative was the partially overcast sky - but this is the NW so we expect that this time of the year. At least it didn't start drizzling until I reached my car at the end.
Anyway, it was the type of day that can put people into good moods, and most of the people I passed by appeared to be in high spirits.
For example, there was the street guy who propositioned me just as I passed under the Autzen bridge (I think that's the one...I still dont' know my Eugene bridges very well). Apparently he wanted me to have his baby, or he wanted my baby or something - it was all rather confusing, really - but I declined and kept walking.
But, most of the people I passed were quite friendly, we acknowledged each other with eye contact, a smile or a nod - something. It made the already fine day that much more enjoyable.
This, of course, got me to thinking. For the most part I don't find Eugenians to be very friendly. People generally keep to their own here. I asked some born-and-raised Eugenians that I know whether or not they have any good friends who were not born and raised in Eugene. They all gave it some serious thought, and came to the conclusion that, no, none of their close group of friends are transplants.
Now, I usually get along pretty well with people. I'm pretty easy going, and, unfortunately, have been called a 'nice guy' before, but that's me. I don't appologize for wanting to treat people with respect. So, screw you! I actually know many 'locals', but I wouldn't call them friends - strong aquantances, perhaps, but not 'friend'.
Also, when walking around town, most people here don't make eye-contact, they dont' acknowledge each other, so when it happens it's very much a pleasant surprise.
I thought back to the other day - to when I had had the epiphiny about writing. After I had finished writing for the day I decided to walk to a cafe and have some tea. I was in a great mood, had lots of energy, so decided to by-pass the place near me, and walk a little further towards downtown.
I mean, I was in a really good mood. Something in me must have been totally shinning through because EVEVERYBODY I passed looked at me, smiled and nodded or waved or something. People would take one look at me and I could see their face change - turn happy. That just added to my happy mood...everything was snowballing out of control!! Na, just kidding.
Now, I do also believe that our internal mood dictates what our external experience is. By this I mean that if we are feeling happy, then we will see the world as happy - how could it not be? If we are sad, then everything and everyone around us doesn't seem as bright or lively. This makes sense since we live in our own minds fully, and what is going on in our minds dictates how we see and think about the world.
But there's something more to it too. As you may have heard before, something between 70-80% of communication is actually non-verbal. So, when I was walking down the street the other day and I was in such a good mood, the people around me must have picked up on some physical signs I was sending out - and I must have been sending out some really strong signals - and so I was able to affect them in a small way. Bonus!!
So, I started to think about my time in Eugene, and how my luck and my life has changed so drastically since I've been here. We are all responsible for making our own lives, and for some reason I held back here. I was excited about moving to Oregon when the Ex and I first formulated the plan, but when I arrived here I just, in a way - and not really meaning to sound too overly dramatic, sorry- died. I left life for awhile.
What does all this have to do with synchronicity? Honestly, I'm not really sure. I was writing this out in hopes of discovering the connection, because I think there might be one - if this synchronicity thing even exists - but I still dont' know what.
Perhaps this is the connection:
About a month or so ago I was talking to this guy, who was for the most part an annoying little fuck - going on about how much money he makes how great he's doing telling everyone how great his life is, when I'm guessing that there really probably was nothing great about his life - but he did say one thing that actually interested me. I was telling him about my situation, and how I was finding it difficult fitting in here, and we talked a little bit about that, and then he said something to the effect of:
"Eugene's kinda like that. Eugene will take you for a ride, it will change your life. It will give you things and it will take things away. If you can go along with it, Eugene will usually end up giving you what you need, which may not be what you thought you needed. Some people don't make it, though, and then Eugene can be pretty harsh..."
i I think that might be it. Perhaps that was the point I was trying to make - Eugene is one big synchronicity sink hole.
i went for a really long walk along the trails that follow along the Willamette River - which runs through the city, right past the downtown area and beyond. It was almost - very close - to a perfect day out. The temperture was just how I like it; the air was crisp with a slight chill to it so that if you were standing still you could feel it, but if you were moving and working your body then it didn't bother you. There was a slight breeze. The only negative was the partially overcast sky - but this is the NW so we expect that this time of the year. At least it didn't start drizzling until I reached my car at the end.
Anyway, it was the type of day that can put people into good moods, and most of the people I passed by appeared to be in high spirits.
For example, there was the street guy who propositioned me just as I passed under the Autzen bridge (I think that's the one...I still dont' know my Eugene bridges very well). Apparently he wanted me to have his baby, or he wanted my baby or something - it was all rather confusing, really - but I declined and kept walking.
But, most of the people I passed were quite friendly, we acknowledged each other with eye contact, a smile or a nod - something. It made the already fine day that much more enjoyable.
This, of course, got me to thinking. For the most part I don't find Eugenians to be very friendly. People generally keep to their own here. I asked some born-and-raised Eugenians that I know whether or not they have any good friends who were not born and raised in Eugene. They all gave it some serious thought, and came to the conclusion that, no, none of their close group of friends are transplants.
Now, I usually get along pretty well with people. I'm pretty easy going, and, unfortunately, have been called a 'nice guy' before, but that's me. I don't appologize for wanting to treat people with respect. So, screw you! I actually know many 'locals', but I wouldn't call them friends - strong aquantances, perhaps, but not 'friend'.
Also, when walking around town, most people here don't make eye-contact, they dont' acknowledge each other, so when it happens it's very much a pleasant surprise.
I thought back to the other day - to when I had had the epiphiny about writing. After I had finished writing for the day I decided to walk to a cafe and have some tea. I was in a great mood, had lots of energy, so decided to by-pass the place near me, and walk a little further towards downtown.
I mean, I was in a really good mood. Something in me must have been totally shinning through because EVEVERYBODY I passed looked at me, smiled and nodded or waved or something. People would take one look at me and I could see their face change - turn happy. That just added to my happy mood...everything was snowballing out of control!! Na, just kidding.
Now, I do also believe that our internal mood dictates what our external experience is. By this I mean that if we are feeling happy, then we will see the world as happy - how could it not be? If we are sad, then everything and everyone around us doesn't seem as bright or lively. This makes sense since we live in our own minds fully, and what is going on in our minds dictates how we see and think about the world.
But there's something more to it too. As you may have heard before, something between 70-80% of communication is actually non-verbal. So, when I was walking down the street the other day and I was in such a good mood, the people around me must have picked up on some physical signs I was sending out - and I must have been sending out some really strong signals - and so I was able to affect them in a small way. Bonus!!
So, I started to think about my time in Eugene, and how my luck and my life has changed so drastically since I've been here. We are all responsible for making our own lives, and for some reason I held back here. I was excited about moving to Oregon when the Ex and I first formulated the plan, but when I arrived here I just, in a way - and not really meaning to sound too overly dramatic, sorry- died. I left life for awhile.
What does all this have to do with synchronicity? Honestly, I'm not really sure. I was writing this out in hopes of discovering the connection, because I think there might be one - if this synchronicity thing even exists - but I still dont' know what.
Perhaps this is the connection:
About a month or so ago I was talking to this guy, who was for the most part an annoying little fuck - going on about how much money he makes how great he's doing telling everyone how great his life is, when I'm guessing that there really probably was nothing great about his life - but he did say one thing that actually interested me. I was telling him about my situation, and how I was finding it difficult fitting in here, and we talked a little bit about that, and then he said something to the effect of:
"Eugene's kinda like that. Eugene will take you for a ride, it will change your life. It will give you things and it will take things away. If you can go along with it, Eugene will usually end up giving you what you need, which may not be what you thought you needed. Some people don't make it, though, and then Eugene can be pretty harsh..."
i I think that might be it. Perhaps that was the point I was trying to make - Eugene is one big synchronicity sink hole.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Visionary Philosopher = Me
Apparently, according to Tickle , I'm a 'Visionary Philosopher' with a 133 IQ. Go me!!!
Actually, I rather enjoy their description of what a Visionary Philospoher is. So, I accept their analysis, and humbly approve of their test.
I can't speak to their accuracy, so if you decide to take the test, don't blame me.
I wonder what I could score without the alcohol flowing through my system...
What's even more scary to contemplate is: What if I were to do worse with less alcohol running through my system?
Just to add - I think IQ tests are bunk anyway, and this one was rather stupid, so don't believe a word.
Best to you,
Me.
Actually, I rather enjoy their description of what a Visionary Philospoher is. So, I accept their analysis, and humbly approve of their test.
I can't speak to their accuracy, so if you decide to take the test, don't blame me.
I wonder what I could score without the alcohol flowing through my system...
What's even more scary to contemplate is: What if I were to do worse with less alcohol running through my system?
Just to add - I think IQ tests are bunk anyway, and this one was rather stupid, so don't believe a word.
Best to you,
Me.
Synchronicity in Craigslist Best Of
Sorry for the long intro about Synchronicity. If you already are familiar with the concept, or don't care, skip down to the Story below - that's really what I want to discuss.
Synchronicity
No, I'm not going to talk about that fabulous 'Police' album from the 80's that brought us such notable songs as the overplayed stalker ballad, 'Every Breath You Take', and the amazing, mystical 'Synchronicity I and II's".
This album did introduce me to the concept of Synchronicity, at a very young age, but I didn't really get it, nor did I really care, so I pretty much shuffled the information into the dark recesses of my brain and let it fester there.
Recently, for who knows what reason, I've become intrigued by this concept.
The idea of synchronicity was developed by C. G. Jung. I believe he wrote two books on the subject, so I'm not going to do it justice here. Basically, it's the conscious observation of two or more similar events and deriving meaning from the events. There seems to be an implied 'reason' for the events, perhaps you could go as far as to say a 'consciousness' behind the delivery of the events - who knows. It's different than coincidence, in that the events aren't exactly coincidental; they're planned. It's almost like a trainning tool from some supernatural source. If you are able to read the meaning behind the synchonicity, then you can actually learn something from them - perhaps a clue to something bubbling in your subconscious or if you are wondering what to do with your life, then perhaps a clue as to what path you should pursue.
Synchronicity is like looking at coincidences and having faith that something deeper is happening.
Other than some basic web-page browsing I've only read one book on the subject, just this past week in fact, called - "The Tao of Psychology - Synchronicity and Self", by Jean S. Bolen. I picked it up at the library when I decided that I wanted to study synchronicity a little more deeply, and since i'm totally into the Tao too, this book was my top choice.
It's a very interesting read - the author takes some forays into strange territory, and is/was (book was written decades ago), facinated by the paranormal - but she's a psychiatrist trained in the Jungian school of thought. Her basic premise is that Synchronicity is the western equivalent of the Tao. Very cool!
So, for the past week, with my new-found knowledge in hand, I've decided to pursue this idea, to remain open and conscious to events happening around me and try to figure out if it may be a synchratic message or not. Here's my story:
The Story
As some of you already know I've been finding the site, Craigslist, to be fascinting. It's an amazing idea, valuable tool, and humourus outlet for the masses. I'll admit I'm addicted to the Rants and Raves section, where pretty much anything goes.
Back in January I made a post to the Toronto R&R board about a situation that happened; a story I wanted to tell but had no where else to share - it's not the kind of story that you really share with friends. I thought about posting it here, but then figured Craigslist would be a more appropriate place.
To my pleasant surprise it was nominated to Best Of ( a collection of what people feel are the best postings on Craigslist) - go me. Here's a link. Be forwarned that the title is "Rant: Raging Hard-ons." and that it contains adult situations. There are many mistakes in grammar and spelling, but it's a Rant and Rave post, so who cares.
All postings are annonymous (which is why I chose Craigslist), but you can contact posters by clicking a link and sending them an email. Since my nomination to the Best Of, I've been receiving lots of positive feedback from readers - and actually no negatives. Seriously, I'm getting an ego boost.
Normally I wouldn't respond to the emails I've been receiving - I'd just read and enjoy - mainly because random email people tend to be creepy. But, then I thought 'what if one of these emails/people turns out to be some sort of syncratic event?' In my thinking to have a synchratic event you need to be active, and not passive, and so I decided I would go ahead and reply to a few. From this I've had some interesting email conversations with people.
One in particular, a woman who is an actual writer. One of my life's goals has been to write and publish stories. This woman who writes for technical magazines (no, I have no proof, but my gut tells me she's telling the truth), really complimented me on the story and urged me to write! Seriously. Now my ego was starting to explode. There's no better compliment for a sturggling writer than to be told by a published writer that you should write.
Except that I received a response from one of my critique group members giving back a critique on a short story I had recently written. He tore it apart and basically said it had no purpose. I was devistated.
So, I started to think - 'what am I being told here? Is there a connection?" This has been a very thoughtful, self-reflective time in my life, I'm in a hub and it's time to choose a spoke, so I started thinking about my goals and ambitions for writing and being a writer.
I thought back to all the successes I've had in writing - those times where people I've respected and looked up to have given me true to heart compliments on pieces I've written, and I discovered a fascinating fact about me.
My goal was to write fiction - I like writing ficition with a psychological edge, with a strangeness to it - an aura of crazy. But when I write fiction I usually force it - I write it because I want to be a writer, not because i'm enjoying the production of the story.
But, through my reflection, I realized that all of my successes as a writer have come from writing non-fiction - from essays to scientific papers to grant reports (yes I received a 'wow, this is so well written. You're a very good writer," from a boss on a grant report).
Lights turned on and bells sounded off.
I decided to experiment. I took a story idea, one that I had tried as a short fictional story recently, but gave up as it just wasn't working, and decided to write it as a creative non-fiction piece, writen in a similar style to my Hard-on story. You know what? I enjoyed writing it, it flowed it came together quickly and it worked! This was very exciting!!
But knowing myself the way I do, I knew I couldn't just rely on the immediate energy I was feeling. So I left off working for that day, woke up the next and decided to try writing another short piece. Again, I had fun writing it, it flowed really well and just felt amazing!! It felt amazing to be writing!!
It's still too early to tell if this is a new, true path for me, but I'm following it now. I've decided to give up on fiction, and I'm going to figure out how/where I can get my non-fiction work published. I actually need to tweak my style, but I haven't been this excited about writing for a long, long time.
You go, Synchronicty!! You rock!!
Synchronicity
No, I'm not going to talk about that fabulous 'Police' album from the 80's that brought us such notable songs as the overplayed stalker ballad, 'Every Breath You Take', and the amazing, mystical 'Synchronicity I and II's".
This album did introduce me to the concept of Synchronicity, at a very young age, but I didn't really get it, nor did I really care, so I pretty much shuffled the information into the dark recesses of my brain and let it fester there.
Recently, for who knows what reason, I've become intrigued by this concept.
The idea of synchronicity was developed by C. G. Jung. I believe he wrote two books on the subject, so I'm not going to do it justice here. Basically, it's the conscious observation of two or more similar events and deriving meaning from the events. There seems to be an implied 'reason' for the events, perhaps you could go as far as to say a 'consciousness' behind the delivery of the events - who knows. It's different than coincidence, in that the events aren't exactly coincidental; they're planned. It's almost like a trainning tool from some supernatural source. If you are able to read the meaning behind the synchonicity, then you can actually learn something from them - perhaps a clue to something bubbling in your subconscious or if you are wondering what to do with your life, then perhaps a clue as to what path you should pursue.
Synchronicity is like looking at coincidences and having faith that something deeper is happening.
Other than some basic web-page browsing I've only read one book on the subject, just this past week in fact, called - "The Tao of Psychology - Synchronicity and Self", by Jean S. Bolen. I picked it up at the library when I decided that I wanted to study synchronicity a little more deeply, and since i'm totally into the Tao too, this book was my top choice.
It's a very interesting read - the author takes some forays into strange territory, and is/was (book was written decades ago), facinated by the paranormal - but she's a psychiatrist trained in the Jungian school of thought. Her basic premise is that Synchronicity is the western equivalent of the Tao. Very cool!
So, for the past week, with my new-found knowledge in hand, I've decided to pursue this idea, to remain open and conscious to events happening around me and try to figure out if it may be a synchratic message or not. Here's my story:
The Story
As some of you already know I've been finding the site, Craigslist, to be fascinting. It's an amazing idea, valuable tool, and humourus outlet for the masses. I'll admit I'm addicted to the Rants and Raves section, where pretty much anything goes.
Back in January I made a post to the Toronto R&R board about a situation that happened; a story I wanted to tell but had no where else to share - it's not the kind of story that you really share with friends. I thought about posting it here, but then figured Craigslist would be a more appropriate place.
To my pleasant surprise it was nominated to Best Of ( a collection of what people feel are the best postings on Craigslist) - go me. Here's a link. Be forwarned that the title is "Rant: Raging Hard-ons." and that it contains adult situations. There are many mistakes in grammar and spelling, but it's a Rant and Rave post, so who cares.
All postings are annonymous (which is why I chose Craigslist), but you can contact posters by clicking a link and sending them an email. Since my nomination to the Best Of, I've been receiving lots of positive feedback from readers - and actually no negatives. Seriously, I'm getting an ego boost.
Normally I wouldn't respond to the emails I've been receiving - I'd just read and enjoy - mainly because random email people tend to be creepy. But, then I thought 'what if one of these emails/people turns out to be some sort of syncratic event?' In my thinking to have a synchratic event you need to be active, and not passive, and so I decided I would go ahead and reply to a few. From this I've had some interesting email conversations with people.
One in particular, a woman who is an actual writer. One of my life's goals has been to write and publish stories. This woman who writes for technical magazines (no, I have no proof, but my gut tells me she's telling the truth), really complimented me on the story and urged me to write! Seriously. Now my ego was starting to explode. There's no better compliment for a sturggling writer than to be told by a published writer that you should write.
Except that I received a response from one of my critique group members giving back a critique on a short story I had recently written. He tore it apart and basically said it had no purpose. I was devistated.
So, I started to think - 'what am I being told here? Is there a connection?" This has been a very thoughtful, self-reflective time in my life, I'm in a hub and it's time to choose a spoke, so I started thinking about my goals and ambitions for writing and being a writer.
I thought back to all the successes I've had in writing - those times where people I've respected and looked up to have given me true to heart compliments on pieces I've written, and I discovered a fascinating fact about me.
My goal was to write fiction - I like writing ficition with a psychological edge, with a strangeness to it - an aura of crazy. But when I write fiction I usually force it - I write it because I want to be a writer, not because i'm enjoying the production of the story.
But, through my reflection, I realized that all of my successes as a writer have come from writing non-fiction - from essays to scientific papers to grant reports (yes I received a 'wow, this is so well written. You're a very good writer," from a boss on a grant report).
Lights turned on and bells sounded off.
I decided to experiment. I took a story idea, one that I had tried as a short fictional story recently, but gave up as it just wasn't working, and decided to write it as a creative non-fiction piece, writen in a similar style to my Hard-on story. You know what? I enjoyed writing it, it flowed it came together quickly and it worked! This was very exciting!!
But knowing myself the way I do, I knew I couldn't just rely on the immediate energy I was feeling. So I left off working for that day, woke up the next and decided to try writing another short piece. Again, I had fun writing it, it flowed really well and just felt amazing!! It felt amazing to be writing!!
It's still too early to tell if this is a new, true path for me, but I'm following it now. I've decided to give up on fiction, and I'm going to figure out how/where I can get my non-fiction work published. I actually need to tweak my style, but I haven't been this excited about writing for a long, long time.
You go, Synchronicty!! You rock!!
Super Special Mom number 1
I had a very interesting morning. This is in two parts.
Part 1 - the Dream:
There's this woman at work who i'm attracted too, and yet has traits that scare the hell out of me, but not enough so to diminish the attraction. She's seeing someone, and she's younger than I am, but still within my acceptable range, although it is the low end.
She's nice enough, and we get along well enough at work, but she ended up in my dreams just before I woke up this morning. In the dream she remembered something I had mentioned a while back and asked me about it, and told me to tell her about it - it was something about a book, I think. We were near this flat area and decided we would lay down upon it together. She lay down close to me and her hair was in my face (she has great hair), her body right up against mine. I found my hand wrapping around hers. That's when I woke up. I tell you, it was very sweet, it felt very sensual. It was one of those dreams that felt real. Very real. It was comforting. Perhaps my subconscious is trying to tell me something. This is actually the second dream I've had of her this past week, and in the first one we hugged - a really nice hug, too. Perhaps I need to take this as a synchronatic event - which I will talk about in another post.
Part 2 - the Awakining.
What woke me from this dream was a neighbouring family walking past my apartment on their way to work/school. You'd think i'd be pissed about being woken up early, especially from such a nice dream? No, actually, I'm so very glad that I was awoken to hear what I heard. It was a gift.
The family is, best I can tell, a single mom with her two young daughters. Our apartment complex is stupid. It's designed like a 'c', or a 'u' depending on your perspective. I think you get the idea. There's a quad in the center. On my side the bedrooms are placed facing the quad, and this is the end from which you enter your apartment - basically people walk right past my bedroom window. I've heard many interesting things since I moved in, but this mornings was the absolute best!
The two daughters are, maybe 4/5 and 6/7 ish, so they're very young. Most times i've seen or heard them, they are pretty whinney, but I don't know what their situation is other than it looks like there is no dad in the picture, and mom is doing her best.
So this morning they are walking past my window when mom remembers that she forgot something back in the apartment. She tells her daughters to wait for her there and she'll be right back. That's no problem, her apartment wasn't far away so it shouldnt' take her too long to get what she needed, and the quad is a relatively safe, open space. The daughters are standing outside my window when suddenly 'Cece', the younger daughter, gets bored and decided to keep walking, because the older daughter is getting freaked out and screaming at Cece to come back and to stop scaring her. This is directly outside my bedroom window, remember.
Older daughter is in tears by the time mom comes back. I bet you've seen how some parents react when comming upon a similar situation. Not this mom - she was the best!
Mom walks up, "What's wrong?" she asks her oldest daughter. "You need to keep it down, you're right outside of somebodies bedroom. What if they're trying to sleep in there?" Mom's voice is solid, firm, with a slight edge of exasperation to it, but still quiet for the situation.
Oldest daughter couldn't be consoled, "Cece's trying to scare me....waaaaa..."
"Well, we need to keep it down, we're right outside of people's bedrooms. Let's go get Cece." Her voice still quiet, patient, and yet firm. From this quick interaction that I witnessed I can gather a few pieces of information on this woman:
1. She has the patience of a saint - at least in public.
2. She loves her daughters very much.
3. She's an extremely strong woman.
How much stress must this woman have in her life? How difficult is it to be a single mom to two daughters that age? And I don't mean offense when I say that the daughters do appear to have some issues. Again, I dont' know what the family situation, I don't know why there isnt' a dad, but I am so impressed by mom that I think I'm crushing on her a little bit, and I've only ever seen her from behind.
The next time I run into mom outside, i'm going to tell her that I think she's a great mom. Everyone can use a little pat on the back once in a while.
Part 1 - the Dream:
There's this woman at work who i'm attracted too, and yet has traits that scare the hell out of me, but not enough so to diminish the attraction. She's seeing someone, and she's younger than I am, but still within my acceptable range, although it is the low end.
She's nice enough, and we get along well enough at work, but she ended up in my dreams just before I woke up this morning. In the dream she remembered something I had mentioned a while back and asked me about it, and told me to tell her about it - it was something about a book, I think. We were near this flat area and decided we would lay down upon it together. She lay down close to me and her hair was in my face (she has great hair), her body right up against mine. I found my hand wrapping around hers. That's when I woke up. I tell you, it was very sweet, it felt very sensual. It was one of those dreams that felt real. Very real. It was comforting. Perhaps my subconscious is trying to tell me something. This is actually the second dream I've had of her this past week, and in the first one we hugged - a really nice hug, too. Perhaps I need to take this as a synchronatic event - which I will talk about in another post.
Part 2 - the Awakining.
What woke me from this dream was a neighbouring family walking past my apartment on their way to work/school. You'd think i'd be pissed about being woken up early, especially from such a nice dream? No, actually, I'm so very glad that I was awoken to hear what I heard. It was a gift.
The family is, best I can tell, a single mom with her two young daughters. Our apartment complex is stupid. It's designed like a 'c', or a 'u' depending on your perspective. I think you get the idea. There's a quad in the center. On my side the bedrooms are placed facing the quad, and this is the end from which you enter your apartment - basically people walk right past my bedroom window. I've heard many interesting things since I moved in, but this mornings was the absolute best!
The two daughters are, maybe 4/5 and 6/7 ish, so they're very young. Most times i've seen or heard them, they are pretty whinney, but I don't know what their situation is other than it looks like there is no dad in the picture, and mom is doing her best.
So this morning they are walking past my window when mom remembers that she forgot something back in the apartment. She tells her daughters to wait for her there and she'll be right back. That's no problem, her apartment wasn't far away so it shouldnt' take her too long to get what she needed, and the quad is a relatively safe, open space. The daughters are standing outside my window when suddenly 'Cece', the younger daughter, gets bored and decided to keep walking, because the older daughter is getting freaked out and screaming at Cece to come back and to stop scaring her. This is directly outside my bedroom window, remember.
Older daughter is in tears by the time mom comes back. I bet you've seen how some parents react when comming upon a similar situation. Not this mom - she was the best!
Mom walks up, "What's wrong?" she asks her oldest daughter. "You need to keep it down, you're right outside of somebodies bedroom. What if they're trying to sleep in there?" Mom's voice is solid, firm, with a slight edge of exasperation to it, but still quiet for the situation.
Oldest daughter couldn't be consoled, "Cece's trying to scare me....waaaaa..."
"Well, we need to keep it down, we're right outside of people's bedrooms. Let's go get Cece." Her voice still quiet, patient, and yet firm. From this quick interaction that I witnessed I can gather a few pieces of information on this woman:
1. She has the patience of a saint - at least in public.
2. She loves her daughters very much.
3. She's an extremely strong woman.
How much stress must this woman have in her life? How difficult is it to be a single mom to two daughters that age? And I don't mean offense when I say that the daughters do appear to have some issues. Again, I dont' know what the family situation, I don't know why there isnt' a dad, but I am so impressed by mom that I think I'm crushing on her a little bit, and I've only ever seen her from behind.
The next time I run into mom outside, i'm going to tell her that I think she's a great mom. Everyone can use a little pat on the back once in a while.
