Thursday, March 23, 2006
I have joined the anti-internet coalition...(hypocrite alert)
I am a creature of phases. Lately I've been in an 'avoiding the internet' phase. I know that there is some underlying reason for it, but I can't consciously grasp what it is. Why don't I want to turn on my computer and open a browser to the wide world of webbiness?
Other phases I go through include:
- Drinking lots of beer ( ah, who am I kidding, this has been a life long phase)
- Drinking lots of wine, red.
- reading
- writing
- arithmetic
- movie watching
- certain foods - currently it's a Hawaian style joint near my place.
- being active
- being sedentary
- worrying about everything
- worrying about nothing
- avoiding people
- desiring new experiences
- Nature Valley Crunchy Peanut Butter Granola Bars
I could go on. My life revolves around short bursts of interests. Suddenly, something rears its bulk over the horizon, catches my attention and draws me in its wake for a moment of time.
Then there's the anti-attention phases too, the ones where I avoid certain behaviours at all costs.
"What's that? You want me to check something on the internet? Screw you!! I will not turn on my computer. I will not bow to the machinations of the industrial/scientific machine that is dictating how we derive our information and spend our minutes. Screw you, and screw everything about you and shove your computer up your..."
No, I don't feel that much vitriol towards...well, anything really. No, that's not right, on occasion I do, there is immense anger. But the anger never lasts. It's more of a phase, really, than true emotion.
S0, why don't I really want to deal with internety things? Sure, I'm on the net now, writing this, publishing in my blog, but I'm not going to check my email. I'm avoiding some other responsibilities, things that I should be doing, research I should be performing. I'm not going to do it, though.
There is no real reason, that I can think of, for me to feel this way, and yet that's what I feel. Next week I'll probably swing to the other extreme and end up spending every waking minute with my computer on, and my fingers clicking a mouse button with continuous motion, feeling assured by the pressure under the pad, feeling like I'm actually accomplishing something.
It will be nebulous, but I will be accomplishing.
And then the winds will shift, a new scent will waft through, and I will be off chasing a new phantasm, once again.
Other phases I go through include:
- Drinking lots of beer ( ah, who am I kidding, this has been a life long phase)
- Drinking lots of wine, red.
- reading
- writing
- arithmetic
- movie watching
- certain foods - currently it's a Hawaian style joint near my place.
- being active
- being sedentary
- worrying about everything
- worrying about nothing
- avoiding people
- desiring new experiences
- Nature Valley Crunchy Peanut Butter Granola Bars
I could go on. My life revolves around short bursts of interests. Suddenly, something rears its bulk over the horizon, catches my attention and draws me in its wake for a moment of time.
Then there's the anti-attention phases too, the ones where I avoid certain behaviours at all costs.
"What's that? You want me to check something on the internet? Screw you!! I will not turn on my computer. I will not bow to the machinations of the industrial/scientific machine that is dictating how we derive our information and spend our minutes. Screw you, and screw everything about you and shove your computer up your..."
No, I don't feel that much vitriol towards...well, anything really. No, that's not right, on occasion I do, there is immense anger. But the anger never lasts. It's more of a phase, really, than true emotion.
S0, why don't I really want to deal with internety things? Sure, I'm on the net now, writing this, publishing in my blog, but I'm not going to check my email. I'm avoiding some other responsibilities, things that I should be doing, research I should be performing. I'm not going to do it, though.
There is no real reason, that I can think of, for me to feel this way, and yet that's what I feel. Next week I'll probably swing to the other extreme and end up spending every waking minute with my computer on, and my fingers clicking a mouse button with continuous motion, feeling assured by the pressure under the pad, feeling like I'm actually accomplishing something.
It will be nebulous, but I will be accomplishing.
And then the winds will shift, a new scent will waft through, and I will be off chasing a new phantasm, once again.
