Zero Readership

Alright, I know it's been a couple of days since I had my first offical job search day, but life has been tough since then. Every so often I get into a cycle of late, sleepless nights. I'm not sure what causes it, I think stress is a big part of it but not always so. It seems to hit me for several days at least once or twice a month. I won't call it insomnia, but I do spend several days in a row not being able to get to sleep for many, many hours during beddy time.

This has happened to me the past two nights. On Friday I had to be up early for work, and I was running on only 2-3 hours of sleep. It was a full day of work, and needless to say I was pretty tired when I made it home. I decided to throw off responsibilities, went to bed around 8 to do some hardcore reading (my Friday evenings are so exciting), and try to get to sleep at a reasonable hour and wake up early Saturday, another off day, and continue to work on job stuff. And in case you are wondering by hardcore reading I don't mean porn.

My plan would have been sound but for two things; 1. Even though I was so tired and running on very little sleep, it was still the wee hours of the morning before I was able to get some shut eye. My brain was just refusing to shut down!! 2. This isn't of itself a bad thing since I wasnt' scheduled for work on Saturday and I have no qualms about sleeping in, but at 7:30am I received a phone call from work that everyone was sick and they really needed someone to come in and work at 9. Now, I didn't have to answer the phone - I pretty much knew it would be work since no one else really calls me, being the lonely dude that I am - but I did, and I can always use the extra cash, so I agreed to come in and work for a few hours this morning.

So now I'm working on about 5 hours sleep over the past few days. I get home from work with good intentions, but decide that I"m too damn tired and need a nap. It was a good nap, but I still don't feel that refreshed from it, and don't have much motivation to put in the effort on job related stuff. I also need to do some housecleaning and really don't feell like that either, so here I am making a post.

I've learned enough about myself to realize that on days like this I really just need to let non-pressing things go. Restarting my career is very important to me, but whether I find a job in the next few weeks or a couple of months isn't really that important. As long as I'm on this track and consciously making things happen, then I'm good with it.