Sunday, November 27, 2005
My new start
I've never really considered starting my own blog before, but a change in my life is the impetus to get me typing. I've decided to use this medium, this means of posting my thoughts and opinions and experiences, and possibly share my vast wisdom (right!!) with the entire world. That's no small thing.
I'm going to keep this blog as a record of my life after divorce. I will use it as an outlet for my emotions and experiences during this most trying of times in my life. And it truely is, the most trying time I've ever had. For the first time in my life I am truely alone.
The ex and I moved to Oregon when she was offered a find position working for the state police crime lab. I left a comfortable job, the pay was decent and it was good, satisfying work; I was a museum educator. I developed and ran volunteer programs and after-school programs, worked closely with needy teenagers and trained them to work with younger students.
In the non-profit field you are never going to become rich, but that was all right by me. I was comfortable and I always had my wife to back me up. Although, even at this point, two years ago, I had the nagging feeling that she was quite as supportive as I hoped my wife would be.
Two years ago she received a job offer, as mentioned, in Oregon. It was a career move for her and the pay was solid. I figured I would be able to get work no matter where I moved, and so was all for it. I had always had a good opinion of Oregon and felt it was the type of place I could finally settle down in and really start building my life, with my wife.
Advance two years into the present time....
I haven't been able to find good, satisfying work. I haven't been able to connect with a social network (that would be very handy right now), and I am now divorced from my wife. Thanks to the gods that we never had any children.
So, here I am, 34 years old, no friends, no family, no one, a crappy job, divorced, living in a strange land, yearning for home.
'Why don't you go back home?' , you might say.
That was my first thought, when the breakup first happened. 'I'm outta here!!'
But then I slowed down my brain for a moment and backed off. Running home would be a typical move of comfort for me. Running home would announce defeat. For me to truely become the man that I envision, I decided, I need to stay here for awhile, not for my whole life, but for awhile, and just live. Just make it, make it by myself and be by myself for the first time in my life. That's right, I'm living on my own for the very first time. It's both exciting and very, very scarry.
My goal in writing and sharing this is both to have a place to express myself, and also to share with others my experience in hopes that somehow it may help them through their own difficult times and circumstances. People enjoy reading about other's misery and tribulations and for some reason it makes them feel a little bit more secure in their own lives. That's fine, I know my world is a mess, my life is shattered, but I'm ready to pick up the pieces and I'm ready to challenge myself to a new start.
Who's with me?
I'm going to keep this blog as a record of my life after divorce. I will use it as an outlet for my emotions and experiences during this most trying of times in my life. And it truely is, the most trying time I've ever had. For the first time in my life I am truely alone.
The ex and I moved to Oregon when she was offered a find position working for the state police crime lab. I left a comfortable job, the pay was decent and it was good, satisfying work; I was a museum educator. I developed and ran volunteer programs and after-school programs, worked closely with needy teenagers and trained them to work with younger students.
In the non-profit field you are never going to become rich, but that was all right by me. I was comfortable and I always had my wife to back me up. Although, even at this point, two years ago, I had the nagging feeling that she was quite as supportive as I hoped my wife would be.
Two years ago she received a job offer, as mentioned, in Oregon. It was a career move for her and the pay was solid. I figured I would be able to get work no matter where I moved, and so was all for it. I had always had a good opinion of Oregon and felt it was the type of place I could finally settle down in and really start building my life, with my wife.
Advance two years into the present time....
I haven't been able to find good, satisfying work. I haven't been able to connect with a social network (that would be very handy right now), and I am now divorced from my wife. Thanks to the gods that we never had any children.
So, here I am, 34 years old, no friends, no family, no one, a crappy job, divorced, living in a strange land, yearning for home.
'Why don't you go back home?' , you might say.
That was my first thought, when the breakup first happened. 'I'm outta here!!'
But then I slowed down my brain for a moment and backed off. Running home would be a typical move of comfort for me. Running home would announce defeat. For me to truely become the man that I envision, I decided, I need to stay here for awhile, not for my whole life, but for awhile, and just live. Just make it, make it by myself and be by myself for the first time in my life. That's right, I'm living on my own for the very first time. It's both exciting and very, very scarry.
My goal in writing and sharing this is both to have a place to express myself, and also to share with others my experience in hopes that somehow it may help them through their own difficult times and circumstances. People enjoy reading about other's misery and tribulations and for some reason it makes them feel a little bit more secure in their own lives. That's fine, I know my world is a mess, my life is shattered, but I'm ready to pick up the pieces and I'm ready to challenge myself to a new start.
Who's with me?
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I feel ya - same thing here - decided on divorce - packed up and moved back to my own home town - feel isolated - no 'friends' here. Think of it as a journey. It does get better.
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